Embracing Anxiety: 3 Tips from a Licensed Therapist

Have you recently worked with a therapist? Each year, therapists help people with high anxiety find calm, stability, and relief. Anxiety affects millions of people, especially since 2020 when mass amounts of our population accumulated added stress from COVID-19 and increased uncertainty in their future.

Luckily, therapists at North American Health Services can offer tangible ways to embrace anxiety and work with it so you can continue living a balanced life.

Tips for Recognizing and Embracing Anxiety, from NAMHS LMFT Simeon Jones

Living with anxiety requires recognition of certain thought patterns, as well as lots of compassion for yourself. Think back to the early days, when surviving the initial COVID-19 lockdown seemed impossible, but you adapted. Living with high anxiety also requires adaptation.

Simeon Jones is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who specializes in working with adults experiencing anxiety, depression, and relationship difficulties. Here are his three tips for reducing high anxiety.

1. Remember that “Your Feelings are Valid” 
Some situations call for anxiety, such as concern for a sick loved one or uncertainty over one’s job or housing. However, constant levels of anxiety can be annoying to experience, at best, and devastating at worst.

Many people with anxiety often recognize when they feel anxious. This recognition is a worthy tip in itself. When you can label your state as “anxious,” the amygdala calms down in a process called affective labeling.

If your anxiety is producing emotional variations of fear (ranging from cautious to panicked), remember that your emotional experience is real. Your feelings are valid; however, the thoughts influencing these feelings may not be.

As Simeon Jones, LMFT described in Healing Modern Anxieties in a Shifting World, persistent feelings of fear and worry are not always helpful. That’s why additional self-inquiry, relational healing, and professional support can help you move through your emotions without getting “stuck.”

2. Recognize and Label Thought Distortions 
When feeling anxious, many people experience common thought distortions such as rumination and catastrophizing. These thought patterns might influence how you feel and perhaps, make you even more anxious. That feeling of anxiety is real, even if the thoughts influencing it may not necessarily reflect the truth.

For example, imagine that you messed up a presentation at work. You stumbled over your introductory slides, mispronounced a few words, and forgot to leave time for questions at the end. None of these mistakes are life-threatening, but all you can think is, “I ruined that presentation. My boss was not impressed. I might get fired. I’m going to get fired. If I get fired, I won’t be able to pay rent and support my family.”

This is a classic example of catastrophizing when after an initial stressful event, you’re experiencing a seemingly endless loop of “worst case scenarios.” When you find yourself caught in the whirlpool of catastrophizing, find ways to pause this line of thought and give your mind and body a break. The first step is to recognize and label the thought distortions, if and when they occur.

3. Connect with People 
This last tip requires a bit of vulnerability because it involves being honest with people about your experience with anxiety. Connecting with someone about mental health can mean different actions, depending on your needs.

One way to connect with people might mean calling a good friend who you always feel supported by, and letting them know you had a rough day with anxiety. Or maybe during a “high anxiety” moment, you can call them or even send them a quick text, expressing that you’re having a high anxiety day. Some friends—even good friends who mean well—may need you to tell them what you need to feel supported. Maybe all you want is a simple text back that is as simple as a heart emoji, to feel seen and loved. Maybe you just want someone to laugh with you about an awkward exchange, so you can find humor amidst the anxiety.

Another way to connect with people is to find a therapist who makes you feel seen and also has the professional tools to help you grow. This also requires vulnerability and trust, as you share your story with “a stranger.” But this stranger has one job: to support you. Plus, unlike a friend, they carry less bias and understand the complexity of mental health. You also don’t need to worry about “burdening” a therapist the way you might worry about “burdening” a friend. That said, a world where people talk more openly with friends and colleagues about mental health is a beautiful thing.

If you or someone you care about struggles with high anxiety, various types of therapy can also provide relief.

Find the Right Therapist For You
Anxiety is common: we live in a world with constant change, uncertainty, and challenges. At North American Mental Health Services, we believe that feeling better starts with finding someone to listen to your experiences.

NAMHS has in-person therapy in Redding, Eureka, Fairfield, Monterey, Salinas, Red Bluff and Hollister as well as online therapy care available via HomePsych.

Reflecting on the Power to Change and the Things I Learned while Watching the Science Channel

Gravity is a natural phenomenon by which physical bodies attract with a force proportional to their masses.

I’ve been watching a lot of shows on the Science Network recently. There is something both comforting and intriguing about learning what keeps this universe of ours together—and what tears it apart. The vastness and complexity of the natural world never ceases to amaze. In fact, the scale of the universe is almost unfathomable.

In order to wrap our human heads around the universe, scientists have focused their curiosity on the forces that govern matter and energy. Laws govern this world, and theories try to explain what the laws don’t.

Gravity is interesting to me. Now I don’t know all the intricacies of physics, but it seems to me that objects with more mass attract objects with less mass. The sun attracts the Earth and all the rest of the planets. The Earth attracts the moon and keeps all of us on its surface, too. It takes immense energy to escape its gravitational pull. This is called escape velocity.

Wikipedia explains this process: “In physics, escape velocity is the speed at which the kinetic energy plus the gravitational potential energy of an object is zero.[nb 1] It is the speed needed to “break free” from a gravitational field without further propulsion.”

Life change has similar dynamics. The “mass” that is created in our lives can create a type of gravitational pull that keeps us where we are.

When I moved from the San Francisco bay area to Southern California to attend graduate school, I never thought that I would stay. I assumed that I would be there 2 years or so to get my degree, and then move back up north. However, during my therapy internships, I began gaining influence in my job at the hospital. Promotions and added responsibility made it easy for me to ‘go with the flow,’ and stay put.

This was not a bad thing. In fact, I am grateful for the opportunities that were presented to me. I met the love of my life, and we got married. We had a little girl who has been a blessing and recently had a baby boy. Life’s gravity began making it harder to change. Fear of failure, lack of security, and complacency made it harder to reach the escape velocity needed to see the change that I would like to see.

The desire to step out of my comfort zone seemed daunting. I ultimately came to some conclusions about life change and reaching my “escape velocity.”

1.) The energy needed to break free from the gravity of your situation can be immense. Therefore, you need to be wise in how you direct that energy. You only have so much energy to expend. The more dissipated or distilled it is will determine the impact of your efforts. Keeping focused and redirecting your thoughts back to where you want to go is key.

For me, making lists, scheduling quiet time, scheduling community time with my wife and counselors are important toward achieving this. Ask yourself, “Is there unnecessary energy expenditure in my life?” “What specifically can I eliminate from my life that is not serving my goals?”

2.) When discouragement comes (and it will), remember that it is a process. Many of the relationships and situations that I have the opportunity to be a part of now are invaluable toward what I will be doing. Remember that if the goal hasn’t yet been realized, it does not mean that change is not already occurring. Ask yourself a couple of questions: “What about my current situation is serving the change I want to see in my life?” “Who in my life can be an ally?”

3.) Trust in the process. The struggle you are experiencing can be the very thing that will make you stronger. Wisdom is forged in the crucible. Ask yourself, “What am I learning?”

Take courage. Reaching your escape velocity requires perseverance, patience, and faith! C.S. Lewis said, “Courage is not merely one of the virtues, but the form of every virtue at its testing point.”

Healing Modern Anxieties in a Shifting World

There is a lot of anxiety in the world right now. We are in the middle of an election year, and things like threats of pandemic and global warming bring about feelings of fear in many people. No matter where you fall on these issues, many people are worried.

Social media, politics, and the fast-paced nature of modern life have divided us. We love our fences. We live in our “house bubbles,” and we drive in our “car bubbles,” and a large portion of our day we sit in our “office bubbles.” I even see some of my patients via Telehealth from my office—I can “virtually” go anywhere in the world from my office. Because of our modern conveniences, there is less and less of a need to venture out into the world. But what are the ramifications of this trend toward isolation? For one, people can feel unmoored and disconnected. Another effect is further isolation: we easily retreat into echo chambers where we only hear thoughts and opinions that are just like our own.

I recently heard about an amazing way that doctors are treating severe stutterers. It’s called “delayed auditory feedback.” The way it works is that the doctor places a device resembling a hearing aid into the ears of the stutterer. When the person speaks, the device picks up the sound of their voice and plays it back in their ear simultaneously and at a slightly different frequency and tone. According to the researchers, this creates what they call “the choral effect.” The brain is tricked into thinking that the person is speaking along with someone else. Research has shown that when people who stutter sing or speak in unison with others, their speech is more fluid and in some cases the stammering goes away completely.

The stigma of a speech impediment can be crippling for those that suffer from it and alters the way they go about their normal lives. Many are isolated and choose careers that don’t require them to interact with others. It is exhausting and frustrating to get stuck on a syllable and not be able to get past it.

In an article in USA Today they reported that Cris Muirhead of Searcy, Ark. (who suffers from severe stuttering) would try and tell the waiter at a restaurant his order, but after several minutes of trying to get his order from his mind to his lips, he would often give up and end up eating something he did not want to eat. He now wears a hearing aide, and his stuttering has virtually disappeared.

It is not fun to feel stuck. We get trapped in our own minds and are unable to break through. Human beings can talk themselves into anything. Without other voices in our lives, it becomes easy to stutter through life. I think that is why it is so important to stay connected with others. Hearing voices that are tuned to a slightly different frequency gives perspective and at times can make your own voice more fluid.

It’s not necessary to be swept up in fear and worry. The “choral effect” can help us feel anchored even in a world that’s unpredictable and shifting. We need each other. I need your voice in my life, and you need mine. The “choral effect” that will be created by our interaction may help us feel less alone with our stuttering lives.

In order to heal, we have to find ways to reconnect with people. One of the benefits of therapy is that it is a relationship that is nonjudgmental. It’s a caring environment and a space where people can come into healing, find peace with themselves, hear another’s voice, and have their voice be heard.

We all go through challenging things from time to time, and the struggle with one’s mental health is not a reflection of one’s strength or weakness. That false belief can lead to negative and fearful thoughts that make us feel really bad. Past traumas do not have to be inexorably linked with our identities.

Many people walk around in the world not knowing what they need – they just know that they hurt. The world can sometimes seem like a scary place. Wars, school shootings, and similar events lead our evening newscasts and top the front pages of our papers. Sometimes, this can lead to strong feelings of anxiety and depression. Trauma can change the stories we tell ourselves about ourselves and about the world. These stories can have a huge impact on how we feel and how we walk around every day.

Recognizing The Symptoms Of Trauma

People might not realize they have been affected by trauma. Some symptoms may include sleeplessness, hypervigilance, anxiety, and depression. Years ago, I worked in a hospital in Los Angeles. At times we would have traumatic things happen. We referred to these as “sentinal events.” These would consist of a patient death, a violent patient, or another emotionally taxing experience. Some medical professionals would try to ignore it or brush it off as “just part of the job.” The thought process was something like, “If I’m going to be a good nurse, I can’t be viewed as weak or soft.” So, they would employ various avoidance strategies to cope. Later they may begin to experience unwanted symptoms. At times, it may not even appear that their feelings are associated with that event. It’s as if a fear switch turns on, but it doesn’t turn off like normal.

Getting Treatment For Trauma

On a hopeful note, there are effective therapy treatments that can help people gain the tools they need to not be dominated by fear. We can find acceptance in that though we suffer, we can still overcome. We can live lives of hope and not fear. The stigma of mental health is lessening, and more and more people are reaching out for help. The more awareness that people have about mental health services, the more willing they will be to seek help from a licensed therapist or other mental health professional. If you are struggling with these unwanted feelings, just remember that you are not alone. Help is available to you if you make the choice to engage with it.

Talent is overrated. I have come to understand this axiom more as I’ve lived. Success seems to me to be achieved when talent, opportunity, and resilience meet. The spaces between these three can be the difference between achieving the goal, and walking around in circles.

Here are THREE things that can help you mind the gaps in your life:

1.) Foster your talent by focusing on the things you do well.

A common cognitive distortion is to have a negative mental filter. This is a way of thinking that focuses on negative input while minimizing the positive input. Each of us has a unique set of skills, gifts, and experiences that set us apart from the competition. Keeping the spotlight on the things we don’t excel at does not accentuate those things that make us valuable to an employer or client. Work on your strengths, not your weaknesses!

2.) Create professional allies by communicating your dreams.

Several years ago a popular baseball movie declared that ‘if you build it, they will come.’ While this may be true in some cases, it is also true that if you dream it, and communicate it, someone may help you build it. It’s ok if you don’t know how to get there. Having a vision of the impact you intend to make can lead you to opportunity. Chances are, there are people in your life already who will help you with the how!

3.) Understand that the journey to your destination will be full of recalculations!

A friend once told me, “You can’t turn a parked car!” Movement is necessary for course correction. Even if you are not moving in the right direction at first, the route you take can open up relationships and opportunities that were not on your radar when you started.