A therapist may provide self-assessment tools like a “life balance wheel” to help people reflect and change their habits. It is always a good time to reflect on how grounded you feel in various areas of your life. A completed life balance wheel is a helpful visual that may make it easier to identify what areas of your life need more attention and care.

We hope this article on balance–complete with a life balance wheel visual–is useful to you on your mental health journey.

What is Life Balance?

Asking what balance is is a bit like asking what the meaning of life is: you may get different answers depending on who you ask and depending on their personal, spiritual, and social beliefs.

The dictionary from Oxford Languages defines balance as “a condition in which different elements are equal or in the correct proportions.” Therapists help people figure out what elements of their life are not in a proportion that feels good, and develop a strategy to realign time and commitments. People can fall “out of balance” when they work too hard and have less time for friends and family; conversely, a toxic relationship might demand more time and attention, and make someone might feel out of balance and unable to devote enough time to their career or hobbies.

Therapists and counselors use cognitive therapy to discuss and address conflicts that people may face in their work-family balance.

How to Use a Life Balance Wheel

First, ask your therapist for a self-assessment tool like a life balance wheel. We recommend pairing this reflection with cognitive therapy, so you can actualize what habits you want to change to move toward balance. If you do not have a therapist, you can still print the life balance wheel from this article. Alternatively, you can draw a circle on a large piece of paper and make your own life balance wheel.

Once you have your life balance wheel, allot at least 10 minutes to sit down and reflect. Rate how satisfied you are, on a scale of 1–10, with each of the 8 categories in your life. On the life balance wheel in this article, those categories include family, relationships/love, career/study, wealth/finance, health/fitness, service/community, social/friends, and spiritual/self-time. Mark the ratings accordingly, so that the higher rankings show more areas filled in toward the outer edge of the circle.

You can also do this activity with your partner or an “accountability buddy” and discuss the reflections afterward that you feel comfortable sharing.

For Best Results, Prioritize Mental Health

Making a life balance wheel can help you realize what is in alignment and what needs fixing. Sometimes, what “needs fixing” is complex. Or, better said, what needs fixing is something that needs healing. For example, maybe after the self-assessment, you feel that you are not satisfied with your social/friends and your health/fitness category. But how do you work toward greater satisfaction in those areas, and in a way that feels sustainable for long-term growth and change?

Remember that therapy changes lives. With the life balance wheel, maybe there are underlying mental health issues at play that influence your satisfaction with various areas of your life. For example, therapy can help you gain tips to ease anxiety and depression, which in turn can influence the relationships in your life.

Many people feel that having a therapist keeps them accountable to their goals and also provides a deeper reflection on what their goals are, and why. You also do not need to “hit rock bottom” to consider therapy; many people pursue mental health support when they are doing okay, but have a few areas of their life that they wish felt more balanced. Other people invest in their mental health when they want to gain helpful tools for navigating life.

Find the Right Therapist For You

Speaking with a healthcare professional can also bring balance and clarity into your life. At North American Mental Health Services, we believe that feeling better starts with finding someone to listen to your experiences.

If you or a loved one need help to manage life’s challenges, and you are interested in working with a therapist in Redding, Eureka, Fairfield, Monterey, Salinas, Red Bluff and Hollister , or Monterey, contact us. NAMHS also offers online therapy.

Single people can live rich, meaningful lives, especially when they receive insight from therapy. It is normal to seek intimacy and connection with others, and there are many benefits from deep connections. It is also vital to begin with oneself and find out how to feel fulfilled, no matter the presence or absence of romantic love.

Whether already finding happiness and fulfillment as a single person, or wanting to move toward a more joy-filled life in singlehood, there are lots of steps one can take.

There are many types of therapy. Each of them can help you unlock your best life.

Therapy helps people manage stress and learn more about themselves

In the 1950s, the societal image of therapy–based on movies and other media–was stigmatized. People raised in this generation often express how they did not seek therapy due to fear of being seen as “crazy” or “messed up.” Now, many people, academic institutions, and workplaces acknowledge that therapy is one of the healthiest practices anyone can do, regardless of their current mental state.

In sports, the best athletes have coaches and those coaches make them stronger, faster, and better. Therapists are like coaches but for everyone, and they offer professional support and often, decades of experience.

Newly single people might be processing recent changes and need someone to help them ascertain the next steps. Other people may feel great about their singlehood except for when big social events, like the holidays, occur and they wish they had helpful tips to manage stress.

Everyone in life, no matter their mental state, can benefit from a mental health coach.

Does Therapy Work For Everyone?

Therapy can benefit everyone depending on the quality of the therapy, the skill level of the therapist, and the effort people bring to their sessions. At NAMHS, our practitioners are LMFTs (Licensed Marriage and Family Therapists), LCSWs (Licensed Clinical Social Workers), and LPCCs (Licensed Professional Clinical Counselors). As general guidance, make sure that you find a therapist who is licensed.

If people resist therapy, it could be worth exploring that resistance with a therapist. Behind that behavior, is there a struggle with accepting help, trusting authority figures, or believing one deserves to feel better? If the latter reason resonates, that could mean that it is time to focus on self-love.

Therapy can be helpful when people experience transitions, such as a romantic breakup, death of a family member or friend, changes at work, or even seasonal changes. If therapy can change lives, why not give it a try?

Loving Yourself Matters, Whether Single or Not

Many people express the need to be loved by someone. There is nothing wrong with this desire, but it’s also important to love oneself. It can lead to unhealthy relationships when people lean on one person to remind them they are loveable and desirable. It is also a lot of pressure for one human to make someone feel that way all the time; in this case, prioritizing self-love might mean prioritizing platonic friendships that bring meaningful connection into one’s life.

When people do not love themselves, whether out of shame, unprocessed trauma, etcetera, they also risk hurting other people. Ever heard the saying “hurt people hurt people?” It means that when people self-loathe, they often take that anger out on other people. The good news is that anyone can work toward loving themselves, even if the idea sounds intimidating or far-fetched.

One way to embrace self-love is to be more compassionate when plans or situations do not work out for you. For someone experiencing social anxiety while at a conference for work, they could “choose compassion” by reminding themselves of how awkward it can be to mingle–rather than berate themselves for getting overwhelmed. Or, if you are having a low self-image day, rather than beginning a crash diet, you could acknowledge the truth: you’re having a low self-image day. After acknowledging this, then you could seek a self-soothing activity that grounds you in the present moment, before making your next decision.

If you’ve ever heard someone say, “Oh I’m so stupid, sorry about that,” then you have heard someone who may struggle with self-love. You can respond to these kinds of statements by assuring that person, “You’re not stupid. You’re human.” This works in reverse too. For example, if your first thought after a simple mistake is, “I’m so stupid, I can’t believe I left my charging cord at work,” try to follow that statement with, “Actually, I’m not stupid. I’m human. And when I’m tired, I forget things more easily.”

By being more gentle with ourselves, we are more ready to extend compassion to others too.

Being Single and Loving Yourself is Possible

Each year, many people make resolutions like, “this is the year I will fall in love with someone.” As mentioned above, there is nothing inherently wrong with a resolution like this; however, as far as a goal you have more influence in making happen, it ranks fairly low. It can be hard to meet the right person, depending on various factors such as timing, openness, emotional availability, attraction, and compatibility.

If struck by loneliness, consider leaning into that “sharp point” as Pema Chodron writes in her book, When Things Fall Apart. With a licensed therapist, you can explore why being single scares you and begin the radical act of loving yourself as you are.

We encourage residents in Redding, Eureka, Fairfield, Monterey, Salinas, Red Bluff and Hollister to request an appointment to work with a NAMHS therapist in person or inquire about our online therapy care.

Self soothing refers to the ability to regulate your body and emotions with actionable steps. The following actions can bring a sense of calm back to the day. Young children can also incorporate these tips into their routines and experience the benefits.

Enjoy the tips for self soothing and share them with a friend who could use relief from anxiety or depression.

Self Soothing Tip #1 – Know Your Triggers

Knowing what behaviors and words trigger you is an important first step to self soothing. Ideally, you can avoid triggering behavior altogether, but sometimes, you may not have control over your surroundings or the people who trigger you.

For example, people with a history of body dysmorphia or eating disorders might feel triggered when people comment on perceived weight gain or loss. If you know that these types of comments could trigger you, you can brace yourself for the comment. There might be comfort in knowing, “that type of comment would trigger me.”

By naming the trigger and having compassion for yourself, you can self soothe and bring yourself a bit of comfort.

Self Soothing Tip #2 – Seek Out Interactive Activities

This tip requires another person or animal to bring you comfort. Given that pets help reduce people’s blood pressure, it makes sense that when feeling strong emotions, being around another living being can help.

If you have a pet, great. If not, there are other ways to experience interactive soothing: do you have a friend or a partner who you can ask for a hug or a back rub? Is there an affordable place to get a massage?

Self Soothing Tip #3 – Breathe Your Way to a Calm Place

Our article, Embracing Anxiety: 3 Tips from a Licensed Therapist offers more tips to work through anxiety. Many of those tips can help soothe. For breathing your way to a calmer place, try taking three deep breaths. Upon inhaling, count “one Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi,” and pause for one second while holding your breath before a slow exhale.

Or, try closing one nostril by placing your index finger on the right or left nostril. Then, breathe in through the open nostril for a count of three. At the peak of the inhale, switch your index finger to cover the other nostril upon exhaling. The simple coordination this breathing requires can help a rattled mind.

Find the Right Therapist For You

Looking for a therapist? NAMHS can help in finding a therapist. In addition to self soothing, speaking with a healthcare professional can also bring comfort and clarity into your life. At North American Mental Health Services, we believe that feeling better starts with finding someone to listen to your experiences.

NAMHS has in-person therapists in Redding, Eureka, Fairfield, Monterey, Salinas, Red Bluff and Hollister as well as online therapy care available via HomePsych.

While some of these ideas require advanced planning, they do help soothe a rattled nervous system.

North American Mental Health Services is celebrating our Grand Opening in Monterey, CA. Professionals and community members are welcomed to attend the celebration.

Refreshments and appetizers will be provided!

When:
Thursday January 12, 2023
4:30-6pm

Where:
1035 Cass Street
Monterey, CA 93940

About NAMHS:
North American Mental Health Services provides psychiatric services in Redding, Fairfield, Woodland, Eureka, online—and now in Monterey, CA.

People may joke about “staying sane” during the holidays, but the saying holds. Each winter, navigating holiday stress is difficult for many people. Depending on one’s life experiences, the holidays can elicit complicated emotions. It might be tempting to self-medicate during the holidays, but there are ways to ensure you receive effective, soothing support. Here are three stress tips from our therapists to help you manage the holidays.

Stress Tip #1 – Remember that movies can create unrealistic expectations

Movies and advertisements often present the “pure joy” of the holidays, causing many people to feel isolated in their stress, anxiety, and loneliness. Spending a Christmas in New York while falling in love sounds great. So does staying in a cabin with friends or family, surrounded by giant snowflakes and cheery snowmen.

While many people do experience joy during the holidays, it is more common that people share the realities of holiday stress, too. Some of these stressors might relate to the logistical stress of hosting one’s family, feeding large groups of people with various tastes and needs, and putting aside your own needs to help with the chaos. Conversely, the lack of any logistical stress if there are “no holiday plans” may induce feelings of sadness, loneliness, anxiety, or boredom.

Additional emotional stressors during the holidays may include feeling depressed when you “should” feel happy—the “should” referring to what the movies signal society to feel. Or perhaps you dread the yearly holiday meal when you share proximity with an estranged, or even abusive, relative.

These emotional stressors may feel isolating, but the reality is that most people navigate one–if not several–emotional stressors during the winter holidays. Remember, life is not like how the movies portray it, especially during the holidays.

Stress Tip #2 – Identify your big triggers and develop a “game plan”

Self-inquiry is a valuable process that can help people regulate themselves during potentially stressful situations. By knowing your triggers, you will be more likely to take a step back from the direct comment or action that triggered you, and take care of yourself rather than spiral or burst into anger.

For many people, for example, navigating the holidays as someone with a previous or ongoing eating disorder is difficult. If someone comments during dinner about any perceived weight gain or weight loss of someone else at the table, what do you do?

By identifying this potential trigger in advance, you can create a game plan for when it happens. So when Aunt Sally says, “Wow [name] are you going to eat all that turkey?” right as you are about to enjoy dinner, you can remind yourself, “Aunt Sally is not aware of the harm of her statements.” If you have a partner or close relative at this event, and you feel comfortable telling them about a triggering relative or conversation that might come up, try creating a game plan, or create a code word or gesture for when you feel like you need physical comfort or reassurance.

It may seem silly, but having a go-to internal script or plan during an unavoidable stressor, such as talking with “Aunt Sally” at Thanksgiving, can go a long way. Conversely, you can try to avoid sitting near a triggering relative during the entire evening, but that may be less in your control. Lastly, reflect on if you are are able to communicate with your relatives about your triggers and concerns before the event. This last option requires your relatives to have the communicative tools or self-inquiry to hear you, reflect on their actions, and change their behaviors.

Stress Tip #3 – You Have Permission to “Opt Out” of Major Stressors

Sometimes, you need to remember: you do not have to go to stressful, triggering events if you do not want to. If you have tried to set limits and boundaries with certain family members or friends, and they continue to not hear your needs, maybe you need a break this holiday.

This is a major decision that can initially feel isolating. But it may be the best option if a “required” event during the holidays could harm your mental health.

If each year, for example, an after-hours Office Holiday Party always results in giving you an anxiety attack, maybe this is the year you do not go. Make up an excuse. Come down with a “cold” the day before. These options do exist. Your mental health matters.

A therapist can help you explore all your options and create a plan that makes you feel seen, respected, and emotionally stronger.

Have a Question? Schedule a Visit with an NAMHS Therapist

There are big questions and potential solutions to complicated holiday dynamics and stressors. If you have a question or would like more information, contact NAMHS or request an appointment. NAMHS has in-person therapists available in Redding, Eureka, Fairfield, Woodland and Monterey. We also have online therapy appointments.

Our therapists are here to support you and provide short-term and long-term relief.