Therapy can help two people grow closer. Unlike what movies often depict, couples therapy is more than a last attempt to save a “failing” relationship. For many people in emerging or long-term relationships, therapy helps them develop a strong foundation of love and trust.

50% of married couples will try couples therapy to address communication patterns, interpersonal issues, and conflict. Why? Because communicating openly with a partner requires vulnerability, and vulnerability requires trust.

With the right therapist and type of therapy, couples can experience better communication and trust while guided by professional support.

How Can Therapy Help Couples?

When sharing your life with someone, challenges are bound to appear. Many people do not have experience defining healthy boundaries, communicating with compassion, or listening to their partner. The way children witness their parents or guardians handle strong emotions and conflict will influence how they, as adults, handle conflict too.

Therapy changes lives and provides support for people who want to break unhealthy patterns, develop self-awareness, and communicate better with the people they love. As world-famous psychotherapist Esther Perel states in her MasterClass, “Do you need to understand yourself to understand others? My answer is yes.” Therapy is the key to helping people understand themselves at a deeper level.

Relationships Require a Mix of Safety and Freedom

Based on cultural expectations, familial values, and individual life experiences, people may require a unique balance of safety and freedom. Some people value interdependence and want to make every “couples decision” together; other people put their opinion first, not because they are “selfish,” but because self-reliance has helped them survive.

Therapy helps people understand each other at a deeper level by first unpacking self-awareness. The more people understand the root of their behavior and habits, the more easily they can understand the complex needs of their romantic partner.

We encourage residents in Redding, Eureka, Fairfield, Monterey, Salinas, Red Bluff and Hollister to request an appointment to work with a NAMHS therapist in person or inquire about our online therapy care.

A therapist may provide self-assessment tools like a “life balance wheel” to help people reflect and change their habits. It is always a good time to reflect on how grounded you feel in various areas of your life. A completed life balance wheel is a helpful visual that may make it easier to identify what areas of your life need more attention and care.

We hope this article on balance–complete with a life balance wheel visual–is useful to you on your mental health journey.

What is Life Balance?

Asking what balance is is a bit like asking what the meaning of life is: you may get different answers depending on who you ask and depending on their personal, spiritual, and social beliefs.

The dictionary from Oxford Languages defines balance as “a condition in which different elements are equal or in the correct proportions.” Therapists help people figure out what elements of their life are not in a proportion that feels good, and develop a strategy to realign time and commitments. People can fall “out of balance” when they work too hard and have less time for friends and family; conversely, a toxic relationship might demand more time and attention, and make someone might feel out of balance and unable to devote enough time to their career or hobbies.

Therapists and counselors use cognitive therapy to discuss and address conflicts that people may face in their work-family balance.

How to Use a Life Balance Wheel

First, ask your therapist for a self-assessment tool like a life balance wheel. We recommend pairing this reflection with cognitive therapy, so you can actualize what habits you want to change to move toward balance. If you do not have a therapist, you can still print the life balance wheel from this article. Alternatively, you can draw a circle on a large piece of paper and make your own life balance wheel.

Once you have your life balance wheel, allot at least 10 minutes to sit down and reflect. Rate how satisfied you are, on a scale of 1–10, with each of the 8 categories in your life. On the life balance wheel in this article, those categories include family, relationships/love, career/study, wealth/finance, health/fitness, service/community, social/friends, and spiritual/self-time. Mark the ratings accordingly, so that the higher rankings show more areas filled in toward the outer edge of the circle.

You can also do this activity with your partner or an “accountability buddy” and discuss the reflections afterward that you feel comfortable sharing.

For Best Results, Prioritize Mental Health

Making a life balance wheel can help you realize what is in alignment and what needs fixing. Sometimes, what “needs fixing” is complex. Or, better said, what needs fixing is something that needs healing. For example, maybe after the self-assessment, you feel that you are not satisfied with your social/friends and your health/fitness category. But how do you work toward greater satisfaction in those areas, and in a way that feels sustainable for long-term growth and change?

Remember that therapy changes lives. With the life balance wheel, maybe there are underlying mental health issues at play that influence your satisfaction with various areas of your life. For example, therapy can help you gain tips to ease anxiety and depression, which in turn can influence the relationships in your life.

Many people feel that having a therapist keeps them accountable to their goals and also provides a deeper reflection on what their goals are, and why. You also do not need to “hit rock bottom” to consider therapy; many people pursue mental health support when they are doing okay, but have a few areas of their life that they wish felt more balanced. Other people invest in their mental health when they want to gain helpful tools for navigating life.

Find the Right Therapist For You

Speaking with a healthcare professional can also bring balance and clarity into your life. At North American Mental Health Services, we believe that feeling better starts with finding someone to listen to your experiences.

If you or a loved one need help to manage life’s challenges, and you are interested in working with a therapist in Redding, Eureka, Fairfield, Monterey, Salinas, Red Bluff and Hollister , or Monterey, contact us. NAMHS also offers online therapy.

Single people can live rich, meaningful lives, especially when they receive insight from therapy. It is normal to seek intimacy and connection with others, and there are many benefits from deep connections. It is also vital to begin with oneself and find out how to feel fulfilled, no matter the presence or absence of romantic love.

Whether already finding happiness and fulfillment as a single person, or wanting to move toward a more joy-filled life in singlehood, there are lots of steps one can take.

There are many types of therapy. Each of them can help you unlock your best life.

Therapy helps people manage stress and learn more about themselves

In the 1950s, the societal image of therapy–based on movies and other media–was stigmatized. People raised in this generation often express how they did not seek therapy due to fear of being seen as “crazy” or “messed up.” Now, many people, academic institutions, and workplaces acknowledge that therapy is one of the healthiest practices anyone can do, regardless of their current mental state.

In sports, the best athletes have coaches and those coaches make them stronger, faster, and better. Therapists are like coaches but for everyone, and they offer professional support and often, decades of experience.

Newly single people might be processing recent changes and need someone to help them ascertain the next steps. Other people may feel great about their singlehood except for when big social events, like the holidays, occur and they wish they had helpful tips to manage stress.

Everyone in life, no matter their mental state, can benefit from a mental health coach.

Does Therapy Work For Everyone?

Therapy can benefit everyone depending on the quality of the therapy, the skill level of the therapist, and the effort people bring to their sessions. At NAMHS, our practitioners are LMFTs (Licensed Marriage and Family Therapists), LCSWs (Licensed Clinical Social Workers), and LPCCs (Licensed Professional Clinical Counselors). As general guidance, make sure that you find a therapist who is licensed.

If people resist therapy, it could be worth exploring that resistance with a therapist. Behind that behavior, is there a struggle with accepting help, trusting authority figures, or believing one deserves to feel better? If the latter reason resonates, that could mean that it is time to focus on self-love.

Therapy can be helpful when people experience transitions, such as a romantic breakup, death of a family member or friend, changes at work, or even seasonal changes. If therapy can change lives, why not give it a try?

Loving Yourself Matters, Whether Single or Not

Many people express the need to be loved by someone. There is nothing wrong with this desire, but it’s also important to love oneself. It can lead to unhealthy relationships when people lean on one person to remind them they are loveable and desirable. It is also a lot of pressure for one human to make someone feel that way all the time; in this case, prioritizing self-love might mean prioritizing platonic friendships that bring meaningful connection into one’s life.

When people do not love themselves, whether out of shame, unprocessed trauma, etcetera, they also risk hurting other people. Ever heard the saying “hurt people hurt people?” It means that when people self-loathe, they often take that anger out on other people. The good news is that anyone can work toward loving themselves, even if the idea sounds intimidating or far-fetched.

One way to embrace self-love is to be more compassionate when plans or situations do not work out for you. For someone experiencing social anxiety while at a conference for work, they could “choose compassion” by reminding themselves of how awkward it can be to mingle–rather than berate themselves for getting overwhelmed. Or, if you are having a low self-image day, rather than beginning a crash diet, you could acknowledge the truth: you’re having a low self-image day. After acknowledging this, then you could seek a self-soothing activity that grounds you in the present moment, before making your next decision.

If you’ve ever heard someone say, “Oh I’m so stupid, sorry about that,” then you have heard someone who may struggle with self-love. You can respond to these kinds of statements by assuring that person, “You’re not stupid. You’re human.” This works in reverse too. For example, if your first thought after a simple mistake is, “I’m so stupid, I can’t believe I left my charging cord at work,” try to follow that statement with, “Actually, I’m not stupid. I’m human. And when I’m tired, I forget things more easily.”

By being more gentle with ourselves, we are more ready to extend compassion to others too.

Being Single and Loving Yourself is Possible

Each year, many people make resolutions like, “this is the year I will fall in love with someone.” As mentioned above, there is nothing inherently wrong with a resolution like this; however, as far as a goal you have more influence in making happen, it ranks fairly low. It can be hard to meet the right person, depending on various factors such as timing, openness, emotional availability, attraction, and compatibility.

If struck by loneliness, consider leaning into that “sharp point” as Pema Chodron writes in her book, When Things Fall Apart. With a licensed therapist, you can explore why being single scares you and begin the radical act of loving yourself as you are.

We encourage residents in Redding, Eureka, Fairfield, Monterey, Salinas, Red Bluff and Hollister to request an appointment to work with a NAMHS therapist in person or inquire about our online therapy care.

Self soothing refers to the ability to regulate your body and emotions with actionable steps. The following actions can bring a sense of calm back to the day. Young children can also incorporate these tips into their routines and experience the benefits.

Enjoy the tips for self soothing and share them with a friend who could use relief from anxiety or depression.

Self Soothing Tip #1 – Know Your Triggers

Knowing what behaviors and words trigger you is an important first step to self soothing. Ideally, you can avoid triggering behavior altogether, but sometimes, you may not have control over your surroundings or the people who trigger you.

For example, people with a history of body dysmorphia or eating disorders might feel triggered when people comment on perceived weight gain or loss. If you know that these types of comments could trigger you, you can brace yourself for the comment. There might be comfort in knowing, “that type of comment would trigger me.”

By naming the trigger and having compassion for yourself, you can self soothe and bring yourself a bit of comfort.

Self Soothing Tip #2 – Seek Out Interactive Activities

This tip requires another person or animal to bring you comfort. Given that pets help reduce people’s blood pressure, it makes sense that when feeling strong emotions, being around another living being can help.

If you have a pet, great. If not, there are other ways to experience interactive soothing: do you have a friend or a partner who you can ask for a hug or a back rub? Is there an affordable place to get a massage?

Self Soothing Tip #3 – Breathe Your Way to a Calm Place

Our article, Embracing Anxiety: 3 Tips from a Licensed Therapist offers more tips to work through anxiety. Many of those tips can help soothe. For breathing your way to a calmer place, try taking three deep breaths. Upon inhaling, count “one Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi,” and pause for one second while holding your breath before a slow exhale.

Or, try closing one nostril by placing your index finger on the right or left nostril. Then, breathe in through the open nostril for a count of three. At the peak of the inhale, switch your index finger to cover the other nostril upon exhaling. The simple coordination this breathing requires can help a rattled mind.

Find the Right Therapist For You

Looking for a therapist? NAMHS can help in finding a therapist. In addition to self soothing, speaking with a healthcare professional can also bring comfort and clarity into your life. At North American Mental Health Services, we believe that feeling better starts with finding someone to listen to your experiences.

NAMHS has in-person therapists in Redding, Eureka, Fairfield, Monterey, Salinas, Red Bluff and Hollister as well as online therapy care available via HomePsych.

While some of these ideas require advanced planning, they do help soothe a rattled nervous system.

North American Mental Health Services is celebrating our Grand Opening in Monterey, CA. Professionals and community members are welcomed to attend the celebration.

Refreshments and appetizers will be provided!

When:
Thursday January 12, 2023
4:30-6pm

Where:
1035 Cass Street
Monterey, CA 93940

About NAMHS:
North American Mental Health Services provides psychiatric services in Redding, Fairfield, Woodland, Eureka, online—and now in Monterey, CA.

People may joke about “staying sane” during the holidays, but the saying holds. Each winter, navigating holiday stress is difficult for many people. Depending on one’s life experiences, the holidays can elicit complicated emotions. It might be tempting to self-medicate during the holidays, but there are ways to ensure you receive effective, soothing support. Here are three stress tips from our therapists to help you manage the holidays.

Stress Tip #1 – Remember that movies can create unrealistic expectations

Movies and advertisements often present the “pure joy” of the holidays, causing many people to feel isolated in their stress, anxiety, and loneliness. Spending a Christmas in New York while falling in love sounds great. So does staying in a cabin with friends or family, surrounded by giant snowflakes and cheery snowmen.

While many people do experience joy during the holidays, it is more common that people share the realities of holiday stress, too. Some of these stressors might relate to the logistical stress of hosting one’s family, feeding large groups of people with various tastes and needs, and putting aside your own needs to help with the chaos. Conversely, the lack of any logistical stress if there are “no holiday plans” may induce feelings of sadness, loneliness, anxiety, or boredom.

Additional emotional stressors during the holidays may include feeling depressed when you “should” feel happy—the “should” referring to what the movies signal society to feel. Or perhaps you dread the yearly holiday meal when you share proximity with an estranged, or even abusive, relative.

These emotional stressors may feel isolating, but the reality is that most people navigate one–if not several–emotional stressors during the winter holidays. Remember, life is not like how the movies portray it, especially during the holidays.

Stress Tip #2 – Identify your big triggers and develop a “game plan”

Self-inquiry is a valuable process that can help people regulate themselves during potentially stressful situations. By knowing your triggers, you will be more likely to take a step back from the direct comment or action that triggered you, and take care of yourself rather than spiral or burst into anger.

For many people, for example, navigating the holidays as someone with a previous or ongoing eating disorder is difficult. If someone comments during dinner about any perceived weight gain or weight loss of someone else at the table, what do you do?

By identifying this potential trigger in advance, you can create a game plan for when it happens. So when Aunt Sally says, “Wow [name] are you going to eat all that turkey?” right as you are about to enjoy dinner, you can remind yourself, “Aunt Sally is not aware of the harm of her statements.” If you have a partner or close relative at this event, and you feel comfortable telling them about a triggering relative or conversation that might come up, try creating a game plan, or create a code word or gesture for when you feel like you need physical comfort or reassurance.

It may seem silly, but having a go-to internal script or plan during an unavoidable stressor, such as talking with “Aunt Sally” at Thanksgiving, can go a long way. Conversely, you can try to avoid sitting near a triggering relative during the entire evening, but that may be less in your control. Lastly, reflect on if you are are able to communicate with your relatives about your triggers and concerns before the event. This last option requires your relatives to have the communicative tools or self-inquiry to hear you, reflect on their actions, and change their behaviors.

Stress Tip #3 – You Have Permission to “Opt Out” of Major Stressors

Sometimes, you need to remember: you do not have to go to stressful, triggering events if you do not want to. If you have tried to set limits and boundaries with certain family members or friends, and they continue to not hear your needs, maybe you need a break this holiday.

This is a major decision that can initially feel isolating. But it may be the best option if a “required” event during the holidays could harm your mental health.

If each year, for example, an after-hours Office Holiday Party always results in giving you an anxiety attack, maybe this is the year you do not go. Make up an excuse. Come down with a “cold” the day before. These options do exist. Your mental health matters.

A therapist can help you explore all your options and create a plan that makes you feel seen, respected, and emotionally stronger.

Have a Question? Schedule a Visit with an NAMHS Therapist

There are big questions and potential solutions to complicated holiday dynamics and stressors. If you have a question or would like more information, contact NAMHS or request an appointment. NAMHS has in-person therapists available in Redding, Eureka, Fairfield, Woodland and Monterey. We also have online therapy appointments.

Our therapists are here to support you and provide short-term and long-term relief.

Embracing Anxiety: 3 Tips from a Licensed Therapist

Have you recently worked with a therapist? Each year, therapists help people with high anxiety find calm, stability, and relief. Anxiety affects millions of people, especially since 2020 when mass amounts of our population accumulated added stress from COVID-19 and increased uncertainty in their future.

Luckily, therapists at North American Health Services can offer tangible ways to embrace anxiety and work with it so you can continue living a balanced life.

Tips for Recognizing and Embracing Anxiety, from NAMHS LMFT Simeon Jones

Living with anxiety requires recognition of certain thought patterns, as well as lots of compassion for yourself. Think back to the early days, when surviving the initial COVID-19 lockdown seemed impossible, but you adapted. Living with high anxiety also requires adaptation.

Simeon Jones is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who specializes in working with adults experiencing anxiety, depression, and relationship difficulties. Here are his three tips for reducing high anxiety.

1. Remember that “Your Feelings are Valid” 
Some situations call for anxiety, such as concern for a sick loved one or uncertainty over one’s job or housing. However, constant levels of anxiety can be annoying to experience, at best, and devastating at worst.

Many people with anxiety often recognize when they feel anxious. This recognition is a worthy tip in itself. When you can label your state as “anxious,” the amygdala calms down in a process called affective labeling.

If your anxiety is producing emotional variations of fear (ranging from cautious to panicked), remember that your emotional experience is real. Your feelings are valid; however, the thoughts influencing these feelings may not be.

As Simeon Jones, LMFT described in Healing Modern Anxieties in a Shifting World, persistent feelings of fear and worry are not always helpful. That’s why additional self-inquiry, relational healing, and professional support can help you move through your emotions without getting “stuck.”

2. Recognize and Label Thought Distortions 
When feeling anxious, many people experience common thought distortions such as rumination and catastrophizing. These thought patterns might influence how you feel and perhaps, make you even more anxious. That feeling of anxiety is real, even if the thoughts influencing it may not necessarily reflect the truth.

For example, imagine that you messed up a presentation at work. You stumbled over your introductory slides, mispronounced a few words, and forgot to leave time for questions at the end. None of these mistakes are life-threatening, but all you can think is, “I ruined that presentation. My boss was not impressed. I might get fired. I’m going to get fired. If I get fired, I won’t be able to pay rent and support my family.”

This is a classic example of catastrophizing when after an initial stressful event, you’re experiencing a seemingly endless loop of “worst case scenarios.” When you find yourself caught in the whirlpool of catastrophizing, find ways to pause this line of thought and give your mind and body a break. The first step is to recognize and label the thought distortions, if and when they occur.

3. Connect with People 
This last tip requires a bit of vulnerability because it involves being honest with people about your experience with anxiety. Connecting with someone about mental health can mean different actions, depending on your needs.

One way to connect with people might mean calling a good friend who you always feel supported by, and letting them know you had a rough day with anxiety. Or maybe during a “high anxiety” moment, you can call them or even send them a quick text, expressing that you’re having a high anxiety day. Some friends—even good friends who mean well—may need you to tell them what you need to feel supported. Maybe all you want is a simple text back that is as simple as a heart emoji, to feel seen and loved. Maybe you just want someone to laugh with you about an awkward exchange, so you can find humor amidst the anxiety.

Another way to connect with people is to find a therapist who makes you feel seen and also has the professional tools to help you grow. This also requires vulnerability and trust, as you share your story with “a stranger.” But this stranger has one job: to support you. Plus, unlike a friend, they carry less bias and understand the complexity of mental health. You also don’t need to worry about “burdening” a therapist the way you might worry about “burdening” a friend. That said, a world where people talk more openly with friends and colleagues about mental health is a beautiful thing.

If you or someone you care about struggles with high anxiety, various types of therapy can also provide relief.

Find the Right Therapist For You
Anxiety is common: we live in a world with constant change, uncertainty, and challenges. At North American Mental Health Services, we believe that feeling better starts with finding someone to listen to your experiences.

NAMHS has in-person therapy in Redding, Eureka, Fairfield, Monterey, Salinas, Red Bluff and Hollister as well as online therapy care available via HomePsych.

Reflecting on the Power to Change and the Things I Learned while Watching the Science Channel

Gravity is a natural phenomenon by which physical bodies attract with a force proportional to their masses.

I’ve been watching a lot of shows on the Science Network recently. There is something both comforting and intriguing about learning what keeps this universe of ours together—and what tears it apart. The vastness and complexity of the natural world never ceases to amaze. In fact, the scale of the universe is almost unfathomable.

In order to wrap our human heads around the universe, scientists have focused their curiosity on the forces that govern matter and energy. Laws govern this world, and theories try to explain what the laws don’t.

Gravity is interesting to me. Now I don’t know all the intricacies of physics, but it seems to me that objects with more mass attract objects with less mass. The sun attracts the Earth and all the rest of the planets. The Earth attracts the moon and keeps all of us on its surface, too. It takes immense energy to escape its gravitational pull. This is called escape velocity.

Wikipedia explains this process: “In physics, escape velocity is the speed at which the kinetic energy plus the gravitational potential energy of an object is zero.[nb 1] It is the speed needed to “break free” from a gravitational field without further propulsion.”

Life change has similar dynamics. The “mass” that is created in our lives can create a type of gravitational pull that keeps us where we are.

When I moved from the San Francisco bay area to Southern California to attend graduate school, I never thought that I would stay. I assumed that I would be there 2 years or so to get my degree, and then move back up north. However, during my therapy internships, I began gaining influence in my job at the hospital. Promotions and added responsibility made it easy for me to ‘go with the flow,’ and stay put.

This was not a bad thing. In fact, I am grateful for the opportunities that were presented to me. I met the love of my life, and we got married. We had a little girl who has been a blessing and recently had a baby boy. Life’s gravity began making it harder to change. Fear of failure, lack of security, and complacency made it harder to reach the escape velocity needed to see the change that I would like to see.

The desire to step out of my comfort zone seemed daunting. I ultimately came to some conclusions about life change and reaching my “escape velocity.”

1.) The energy needed to break free from the gravity of your situation can be immense. Therefore, you need to be wise in how you direct that energy. You only have so much energy to expend. The more dissipated or distilled it is will determine the impact of your efforts. Keeping focused and redirecting your thoughts back to where you want to go is key.

For me, making lists, scheduling quiet time, scheduling community time with my wife and counselors are important toward achieving this. Ask yourself, “Is there unnecessary energy expenditure in my life?” “What specifically can I eliminate from my life that is not serving my goals?”

2.) When discouragement comes (and it will), remember that it is a process. Many of the relationships and situations that I have the opportunity to be a part of now are invaluable toward what I will be doing. Remember that if the goal hasn’t yet been realized, it does not mean that change is not already occurring. Ask yourself a couple of questions: “What about my current situation is serving the change I want to see in my life?” “Who in my life can be an ally?”

3.) Trust in the process. The struggle you are experiencing can be the very thing that will make you stronger. Wisdom is forged in the crucible. Ask yourself, “What am I learning?”

Take courage. Reaching your escape velocity requires perseverance, patience, and faith! C.S. Lewis said, “Courage is not merely one of the virtues, but the form of every virtue at its testing point.”

Healing Modern Anxieties in a Shifting World

There is a lot of anxiety in the world right now. We are in the middle of an election year, and things like threats of pandemic and global warming bring about feelings of fear in many people. No matter where you fall on these issues, many people are worried.

Social media, politics, and the fast-paced nature of modern life have divided us. We love our fences. We live in our “house bubbles,” and we drive in our “car bubbles,” and a large portion of our day we sit in our “office bubbles.” I even see some of my patients via Telehealth from my office—I can “virtually” go anywhere in the world from my office. Because of our modern conveniences, there is less and less of a need to venture out into the world. But what are the ramifications of this trend toward isolation? For one, people can feel unmoored and disconnected. Another effect is further isolation: we easily retreat into echo chambers where we only hear thoughts and opinions that are just like our own.

I recently heard about an amazing way that doctors are treating severe stutterers. It’s called “delayed auditory feedback.” The way it works is that the doctor places a device resembling a hearing aid into the ears of the stutterer. When the person speaks, the device picks up the sound of their voice and plays it back in their ear simultaneously and at a slightly different frequency and tone. According to the researchers, this creates what they call “the choral effect.” The brain is tricked into thinking that the person is speaking along with someone else. Research has shown that when people who stutter sing or speak in unison with others, their speech is more fluid and in some cases the stammering goes away completely.

The stigma of a speech impediment can be crippling for those that suffer from it and alters the way they go about their normal lives. Many are isolated and choose careers that don’t require them to interact with others. It is exhausting and frustrating to get stuck on a syllable and not be able to get past it.

In an article in USA Today they reported that Cris Muirhead of Searcy, Ark. (who suffers from severe stuttering) would try and tell the waiter at a restaurant his order, but after several minutes of trying to get his order from his mind to his lips, he would often give up and end up eating something he did not want to eat. He now wears a hearing aide, and his stuttering has virtually disappeared.

It is not fun to feel stuck. We get trapped in our own minds and are unable to break through. Human beings can talk themselves into anything. Without other voices in our lives, it becomes easy to stutter through life. I think that is why it is so important to stay connected with others. Hearing voices that are tuned to a slightly different frequency gives perspective and at times can make your own voice more fluid.

It’s not necessary to be swept up in fear and worry. The “choral effect” can help us feel anchored even in a world that’s unpredictable and shifting. We need each other. I need your voice in my life, and you need mine. The “choral effect” that will be created by our interaction may help us feel less alone with our stuttering lives.

In order to heal, we have to find ways to reconnect with people. One of the benefits of therapy is that it is a relationship that is nonjudgmental. It’s a caring environment and a space where people can come into healing, find peace with themselves, hear another’s voice, and have their voice be heard.

We all go through challenging things from time to time, and the struggle with one’s mental health is not a reflection of one’s strength or weakness. That false belief can lead to negative and fearful thoughts that make us feel really bad. Past traumas do not have to be inexorably linked with our identities.

Many people walk around in the world not knowing what they need – they just know that they hurt. The world can sometimes seem like a scary place. Wars, school shootings, and similar events lead our evening newscasts and top the front pages of our papers. Sometimes, this can lead to strong feelings of anxiety and depression. Trauma can change the stories we tell ourselves about ourselves and about the world. These stories can have a huge impact on how we feel and how we walk around every day.

Recognizing The Symptoms Of Trauma

People might not realize they have been affected by trauma. Some symptoms may include sleeplessness, hypervigilance, anxiety, and depression. Years ago, I worked in a hospital in Los Angeles. At times we would have traumatic things happen. We referred to these as “sentinal events.” These would consist of a patient death, a violent patient, or another emotionally taxing experience. Some medical professionals would try to ignore it or brush it off as “just part of the job.” The thought process was something like, “If I’m going to be a good nurse, I can’t be viewed as weak or soft.” So, they would employ various avoidance strategies to cope. Later they may begin to experience unwanted symptoms. At times, it may not even appear that their feelings are associated with that event. It’s as if a fear switch turns on, but it doesn’t turn off like normal.

Getting Treatment For Trauma

On a hopeful note, there are effective therapy treatments that can help people gain the tools they need to not be dominated by fear. We can find acceptance in that though we suffer, we can still overcome. We can live lives of hope and not fear. The stigma of mental health is lessening, and more and more people are reaching out for help. The more awareness that people have about mental health services, the more willing they will be to seek help from a licensed therapist or other mental health professional. If you are struggling with these unwanted feelings, just remember that you are not alone. Help is available to you if you make the choice to engage with it.