Therapy can help two people grow closer. Unlike what movies often depict, couples therapy is more than a last attempt to save a “failing” relationship. For many people in emerging or long-term relationships, therapy helps them develop a strong foundation of love and trust.

50% of married couples will try couples therapy to address communication patterns, interpersonal issues, and conflict. Why? Because communicating openly with a partner requires vulnerability, and vulnerability requires trust.

With the right therapist and type of therapy, couples can experience better communication and trust while guided by professional support.

How Can Therapy Help Couples?

When sharing your life with someone, challenges are bound to appear. Many people do not have experience defining healthy boundaries, communicating with compassion, or listening to their partner. The way children witness their parents or guardians handle strong emotions and conflict will influence how they, as adults, handle conflict too.

Therapy changes lives and provides support for people who want to break unhealthy patterns, develop self-awareness, and communicate better with the people they love. As world-famous psychotherapist Esther Perel states in her MasterClass, “Do you need to understand yourself to understand others? My answer is yes.” Therapy is the key to helping people understand themselves at a deeper level.

Relationships Require a Mix of Safety and Freedom

Based on cultural expectations, familial values, and individual life experiences, people may require a unique balance of safety and freedom. Some people value interdependence and want to make every “couples decision” together; other people put their opinion first, not because they are “selfish,” but because self-reliance has helped them survive.

Therapy helps people understand each other at a deeper level by first unpacking self-awareness. The more people understand the root of their behavior and habits, the more easily they can understand the complex needs of their romantic partner.

We encourage residents in Redding, Eureka, Fairfield, Monterey, Salinas, Red Bluff and Hollister to request an appointment to work with a NAMHS therapist in person or inquire about our online therapy care.

A therapist may provide self-assessment tools like a “life balance wheel” to help people reflect and change their habits. It is always a good time to reflect on how grounded you feel in various areas of your life. A completed life balance wheel is a helpful visual that may make it easier to identify what areas of your life need more attention and care.

We hope this article on balance–complete with a life balance wheel visual–is useful to you on your mental health journey.

What is Life Balance?

Asking what balance is is a bit like asking what the meaning of life is: you may get different answers depending on who you ask and depending on their personal, spiritual, and social beliefs.

The dictionary from Oxford Languages defines balance as “a condition in which different elements are equal or in the correct proportions.” Therapists help people figure out what elements of their life are not in a proportion that feels good, and develop a strategy to realign time and commitments. People can fall “out of balance” when they work too hard and have less time for friends and family; conversely, a toxic relationship might demand more time and attention, and make someone might feel out of balance and unable to devote enough time to their career or hobbies.

Therapists and counselors use cognitive therapy to discuss and address conflicts that people may face in their work-family balance.

How to Use a Life Balance Wheel

First, ask your therapist for a self-assessment tool like a life balance wheel. We recommend pairing this reflection with cognitive therapy, so you can actualize what habits you want to change to move toward balance. If you do not have a therapist, you can still print the life balance wheel from this article. Alternatively, you can draw a circle on a large piece of paper and make your own life balance wheel.

Once you have your life balance wheel, allot at least 10 minutes to sit down and reflect. Rate how satisfied you are, on a scale of 1–10, with each of the 8 categories in your life. On the life balance wheel in this article, those categories include family, relationships/love, career/study, wealth/finance, health/fitness, service/community, social/friends, and spiritual/self-time. Mark the ratings accordingly, so that the higher rankings show more areas filled in toward the outer edge of the circle.

You can also do this activity with your partner or an “accountability buddy” and discuss the reflections afterward that you feel comfortable sharing.

For Best Results, Prioritize Mental Health

Making a life balance wheel can help you realize what is in alignment and what needs fixing. Sometimes, what “needs fixing” is complex. Or, better said, what needs fixing is something that needs healing. For example, maybe after the self-assessment, you feel that you are not satisfied with your social/friends and your health/fitness category. But how do you work toward greater satisfaction in those areas, and in a way that feels sustainable for long-term growth and change?

Remember that therapy changes lives. With the life balance wheel, maybe there are underlying mental health issues at play that influence your satisfaction with various areas of your life. For example, therapy can help you gain tips to ease anxiety and depression, which in turn can influence the relationships in your life.

Many people feel that having a therapist keeps them accountable to their goals and also provides a deeper reflection on what their goals are, and why. You also do not need to “hit rock bottom” to consider therapy; many people pursue mental health support when they are doing okay, but have a few areas of their life that they wish felt more balanced. Other people invest in their mental health when they want to gain helpful tools for navigating life.

Find the Right Therapist For You

Speaking with a healthcare professional can also bring balance and clarity into your life. At North American Mental Health Services, we believe that feeling better starts with finding someone to listen to your experiences.

If you or a loved one need help to manage life’s challenges, and you are interested in working with a therapist in Redding, Eureka, Fairfield, Monterey, Salinas, Red Bluff and Hollister , or Monterey, contact us. NAMHS also offers online therapy.

Single people can live rich, meaningful lives, especially when they receive insight from therapy. It is normal to seek intimacy and connection with others, and there are many benefits from deep connections. It is also vital to begin with oneself and find out how to feel fulfilled, no matter the presence or absence of romantic love.

Whether already finding happiness and fulfillment as a single person, or wanting to move toward a more joy-filled life in singlehood, there are lots of steps one can take.

There are many types of therapy. Each of them can help you unlock your best life.

Therapy helps people manage stress and learn more about themselves

In the 1950s, the societal image of therapy–based on movies and other media–was stigmatized. People raised in this generation often express how they did not seek therapy due to fear of being seen as “crazy” or “messed up.” Now, many people, academic institutions, and workplaces acknowledge that therapy is one of the healthiest practices anyone can do, regardless of their current mental state.

In sports, the best athletes have coaches and those coaches make them stronger, faster, and better. Therapists are like coaches but for everyone, and they offer professional support and often, decades of experience.

Newly single people might be processing recent changes and need someone to help them ascertain the next steps. Other people may feel great about their singlehood except for when big social events, like the holidays, occur and they wish they had helpful tips to manage stress.

Everyone in life, no matter their mental state, can benefit from a mental health coach.

Does Therapy Work For Everyone?

Therapy can benefit everyone depending on the quality of the therapy, the skill level of the therapist, and the effort people bring to their sessions. At NAMHS, our practitioners are LMFTs (Licensed Marriage and Family Therapists), LCSWs (Licensed Clinical Social Workers), and LPCCs (Licensed Professional Clinical Counselors). As general guidance, make sure that you find a therapist who is licensed.

If people resist therapy, it could be worth exploring that resistance with a therapist. Behind that behavior, is there a struggle with accepting help, trusting authority figures, or believing one deserves to feel better? If the latter reason resonates, that could mean that it is time to focus on self-love.

Therapy can be helpful when people experience transitions, such as a romantic breakup, death of a family member or friend, changes at work, or even seasonal changes. If therapy can change lives, why not give it a try?

Loving Yourself Matters, Whether Single or Not

Many people express the need to be loved by someone. There is nothing wrong with this desire, but it’s also important to love oneself. It can lead to unhealthy relationships when people lean on one person to remind them they are loveable and desirable. It is also a lot of pressure for one human to make someone feel that way all the time; in this case, prioritizing self-love might mean prioritizing platonic friendships that bring meaningful connection into one’s life.

When people do not love themselves, whether out of shame, unprocessed trauma, etcetera, they also risk hurting other people. Ever heard the saying “hurt people hurt people?” It means that when people self-loathe, they often take that anger out on other people. The good news is that anyone can work toward loving themselves, even if the idea sounds intimidating or far-fetched.

One way to embrace self-love is to be more compassionate when plans or situations do not work out for you. For someone experiencing social anxiety while at a conference for work, they could “choose compassion” by reminding themselves of how awkward it can be to mingle–rather than berate themselves for getting overwhelmed. Or, if you are having a low self-image day, rather than beginning a crash diet, you could acknowledge the truth: you’re having a low self-image day. After acknowledging this, then you could seek a self-soothing activity that grounds you in the present moment, before making your next decision.

If you’ve ever heard someone say, “Oh I’m so stupid, sorry about that,” then you have heard someone who may struggle with self-love. You can respond to these kinds of statements by assuring that person, “You’re not stupid. You’re human.” This works in reverse too. For example, if your first thought after a simple mistake is, “I’m so stupid, I can’t believe I left my charging cord at work,” try to follow that statement with, “Actually, I’m not stupid. I’m human. And when I’m tired, I forget things more easily.”

By being more gentle with ourselves, we are more ready to extend compassion to others too.

Being Single and Loving Yourself is Possible

Each year, many people make resolutions like, “this is the year I will fall in love with someone.” As mentioned above, there is nothing inherently wrong with a resolution like this; however, as far as a goal you have more influence in making happen, it ranks fairly low. It can be hard to meet the right person, depending on various factors such as timing, openness, emotional availability, attraction, and compatibility.

If struck by loneliness, consider leaning into that “sharp point” as Pema Chodron writes in her book, When Things Fall Apart. With a licensed therapist, you can explore why being single scares you and begin the radical act of loving yourself as you are.

We encourage residents in Redding, Eureka, Fairfield, Monterey, Salinas, Red Bluff and Hollister to request an appointment to work with a NAMHS therapist in person or inquire about our online therapy care.

Simeon Jones, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) with North American Mental Health Services, offers his latest thoughts in this article about gravity as it relates to life lessons.

“Something is comforting and intriguing about learning what keeps this universe together and what tears it apart,” Jones reflects.

At work, Jones specializes in working with adults experiencing anxiety, depression, and relationship difficulties. When not working, he enjoys watching the Science Channel and making connections between science and life phenomena. Gravity is one of the scientific topics that intrigues Jones.

What Gravity Can Teach Us about Life

Throughout history, scientists have focused their curiosity on what forces govern matter and energy. Gravity interests Jones because of its related theories, such as how objects with more mass attract objects with less mass: the sun attracts the Earth and the other planets in our solar system, and the Earth attracts the moon.

“It takes immense energy to escape gravitational pull. This is called escape velocity,” Jones says.

Forces in life can have similar dynamics. The “mass” that is created in our lives, can create a type of gravitational pull that keeps us where we are.

“I moved from the San Francisco Bay Area to southern California for graduate school,” Jones shares. “I never thought that I would stay there for more than two years or so to get my degree.”

But after successful and meaningful therapy internships, he began to feel the various pulls to stay. “Promotions and added responsibility made it easy for me to go with the flow, and stay put. And then I met the love of my life. We got married and had two kids.”

Life’s gravity began making it harder for Jones to make changes. He also began recognizing a fear of failure and a lack of security that made it hard to reach escape velocity.

Finding Escape Velocity and Making Changes Happen

Jones wanted to leave his comfort zone and begin a private coaching business, but it seemed daunting. “The economy was in bad shape and the security of my current position made taking a chance hard to imagine.”

Here are three conclusions he made about reaching “escape velocity.”

The energy needed to break free from the gravity of your situation is immense. Be wise with how you direct that energy. For Jones, he found guidance by making lists, scheduling quiet time with a higher power, and making time with his wife and counselors. Consider asking yourself where you are putting energy toward something that does or does not help your goals.

Remember that it is a process. Change can be slow. Ask yourself questions like, “what about my current situation is serving the change I want to see? Who can support me?”

Trust in the process. The struggle you are experiencing can be the very thing that will make you valuable.

These three tips can help anyone who wants to make a change but does not know where to begin.

Find the Right Therapist For You

Therapists like Simeon Jones at North American Mental Health Services offer tangible ways to embrace life changes so you can continue living a balanced life.

If you or a loved one need help to manage life’s challenges, and you are interested in working with a therapist in Redding, Eureka, Fairfield, Monterey, Salinas, Red Bluff and Hollister or online therapist contact us.

Making a goal for a healthy lifestyle and making a plan to actualize your goals are two different matters. According to Forbes Health and OnePoll, 62% of people reported that improved physical and mental health was a top goal.

People often reach their goals when the goals are realistic and measurable. But what does tracking a goal entail? We hope this article offers helpful insight so that you can actualize a lifestyle you love.

Foster Healthy Habits: Create a System for Tracking Goals

According to the same survey, 52% of people setting goals use a resource to measure and track their health-related goals. Breaking a lofty goal into small, actionable steps is a great way to align the lifestyle you want with the lifestyle you have.

Many people express a goal to “exercise more.” Before creating a system to track that, make that goal more specific. What kind of exercise motivates you to move? During the day, what time are you most likely to exercise? Once refined, this same goal can be, “I want to run twice a week after work with my coworker, Ryan.”

The specific exercise is now measurable. Now you can create a simple spreadsheet, a post-workout note in Google Calendar, or even a handwritten note in a planner that tracks if you ran that week. It is also a specific goal, with the boost of an “accountability buddy” like Ryan who can help you stay on track with a shared goal.

There are apps available to help you reach any health-related goals. Sharing your goals with a therapist may help set a realistic plan, gain a sense of what blocks you from certain behaviors, and build actionable steps based on what motivates you.

We encourage residents in Redding, Eureka, Fairfield, Monterey, Salinas, Red Bluff and Hollister to request an appointment to work with a NAMHS therapist in person or inquire about our online therapy care.

Why Adapting to Change is Difficult, According to Therapists

According to therapists, it is natural for people to struggle with change. Two people may experience the same change differently based on their cumulative life experiences and beliefs. Adjustment disorders are also a possible reason why some people may struggle to navigate change. This disorder can occur at any age.
The exact cause of adjustment disorders is unknown. In general, they are considered an excessive response to a change. If you feel that any change in your life brings excessive stress, you may want to talk to a professional to gain tools to help you prepare for change in a way that feels empowering.

Tips from a Therapist: Expect Change

What happens if people start to expect change? It sounds easy at first, but if things are going well for you, the idea of things changing for worse can be frightening. It is natural to hesitate at the thought of everything shifting.

As said by the Greek philosopher Heraclitus, “Change is the only constant in life.” Life is unpredictable. So many people felt more stressed in the immediate unraveling of the COVID-19 pandemic, for example, because they were faced with constant unknowns and changes. This made many people realize they needed therapy to feel supported and ready for the next inevitable change.

Find the Right Therapist For You

If there is one thing to expect from life, it is that life is full of changes. We live in a world with constant change, uncertainty, and challenges. At North American Mental Health Services, we know that adapting to these changes is hard. That is why we believe in finding someone who can listen to your experiences and give you helpful insight.

NAMHS has in-person therapists in Redding, Eureka, Fairfield, Monterey, Salinas, Red Bluff and Hollister and online therapy care available via HomePsych.

Therapy gives people the tools to manage crises, adjust to change, and thrive. Over the last few decades, the public stigma around therapy prevented thousands of people from receiving care that could change their lives.

Now, with more people embracing therapy and celebrities sharing how it changed their lives, there is an increased awareness of how therapy can enhance the quality of everyday life.

What is the public stigma around therapy?

When people refer to the stigma of mental illness and therapy, they are referring to a widespread, negative perception of therapy and people who need therapy. When people internalize these associations with therapy, they are less likely to receive care.

Across the United States, people with negative beliefs towards therapy might think, “therapy is a sign of weakness” or “I am not ‘crazy,’ so why do I need therapy?” The reality is that everyone could benefit from receiving quality therapy that helps them negotiate the daily struggles and joys of being human.

Besides being frustrating for people in need of mental health support, the public stigma around therapy also prevents friends and family from understanding the complexity of mental health.

Celebrities Breaking Stigmas: Selena Gomez, A Case Study

Each year, celebrities share their mental health journey and discuss how therapy changed their lives. This year, Selena Gomez told Vogue about how therapy changed her life. Said how she wished “more people would talk about therapy.”

In particular, Gomez spoke of how dialectical behavioral therapy, or DBT, helps her find balance, support, and insight. DBT is one of three types of therapy that can help people with depression and anxiety.

Most therapy treatments can be done through in-office or online therapy appointments.

Find the Right Therapist For You

Therapists at North American Mental Health Services offer tangible ways to embrace anxiety and work with it so you can continue living a balanced life.

NAMHS has in-person therapists in Redding, Eureka, Fairfield, Monterey, Salinas, Red Bluff and Hollister and online therapy care available via HomePsych.

If you or a loved one need help to manage life’s challenges, contact NAMHS.

Adaptation as Survival: Tips from a Licensed Therapist on Processing Change

The Greek philosopher Heraclitus said, “Change is the only constant in life.” This quote summarizes one of the paradoxes of being human: life is full of changes. This is hard to accept. It may require relinquishing control, or adjusting one’s perception of control.

It is natural to fear change or to crave stability amidst a world that never stays the same. With the right support and tools, however, change can feel less scary. We hope this article, with quotes from Simeon Jones, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist at NAMHS, provides insight to anyone who has survived trauma or navigated change.

Processing Trauma and Change: First Comes Acceptance

Part of being alive is being surrounded by changing environments. It may be tempting to ignore stressful events and how they impact oneself or one’s community.

As Simeon Jones writes in his article Healing from Trauma, “People might not realize they have been affected by trauma.” For example, Jones shares that while he was working in a hospital, he witnessed medical professionals move quickly past traumatic events, without time to process the trauma; eventually, a few people started exhibiting unwanted symptoms from a lack of acknowledging the trauma they faced each day. In this example, the change was negative and traumatic, as it referred to people dying or being violent.

The first step to taking care of yourself in the face of constant change is to recognize that external change. You can ask yourself questions like, “In what areas of my life do I feel like I have no control? What changes in my life have been most difficult to accept? Why?” This self-inquiry is a first step to acknowledging how you react to change and what types of changes may be more challenging for you, should they arise in the future.

Adaptation and Trauma: Is Healing Possible?

Healing from trauma is possible. It is a journey that may feel ongoing at times and without a clear finish line. People in therapy who have experienced trauma and depression often report relief from receiving consistent talk therapy to help them process significant life events.

As Jones writes, “Trauma can change the stories we tell ourselves about ourselves and the world.” Everyone has a narrative, if not several, that helps them understand their role in the world. Trauma can flip and warp personal narratives and convince people they are not loved or deserving of love.

For example, children who experience consistent support and care from parents, guardians, teachers, siblings, etc., may develop a personal narrative such as, “I am a good kid. The world is a safe place and people can be trusted.” If that same child with that positive, life-affirming narrative experiences abuse from someone they trusted, their narrative may start to shift. Subconsciously, the narrative can morph into, “Sometimes I am a bad kid. Sometimes bad things happen to me that I deserve.”

While the latter narrative is not true, it may feel true, especially without professional attention and care.

Survival after Trauma: Why Adaptation is Vital

Continuing with the example in the previous section, the stories we tell ourselves can have a huge impact on how we experience life. The internalized belief in this imagined example may not be true, but unprocessed trauma has a way of convincing people otherwise. Luckily, therapy can help people reassert more compassionate narratives of themselves and help them  unpack how trauma influenced them.

Recognizing the symptoms of trauma is a key first step toward honoring one’s inner strength as a survivor. With the rise of online therapy, people can access in-office or online therapy appointments, depending on their preference.

Therapists have a challenging and vital role to help people of all ages, no matter how old or how fresh their trauma is, to understand how that trauma impacts how they view themselves and the world.

NAMHS has in-person therapists in Redding, Eureka, Fairfield, Monterey, Salinas, Red Bluff and Hollister and online therapy care available via HomePsych.  Request an appointment with us today!