Simeon Jones, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) with North American Mental Health Services, offers his latest thoughts in this article about gravity as it relates to life lessons.

“Something is comforting and intriguing about learning what keeps this universe together and what tears it apart,” Jones reflects.

At work, Jones specializes in working with adults experiencing anxiety, depression, and relationship difficulties. When not working, he enjoys watching the Science Channel and making connections between science and life phenomena. Gravity is one of the scientific topics that intrigues Jones.

What Gravity Can Teach Us about Life

Throughout history, scientists have focused their curiosity on what forces govern matter and energy. Gravity interests Jones because of its related theories, such as how objects with more mass attract objects with less mass: the sun attracts the Earth and the other planets in our solar system, and the Earth attracts the moon.

“It takes immense energy to escape gravitational pull. This is called escape velocity,” Jones says.

Forces in life can have similar dynamics. The “mass” that is created in our lives, can create a type of gravitational pull that keeps us where we are.

“I moved from the San Francisco Bay Area to southern California for graduate school,” Jones shares. “I never thought that I would stay there for more than two years or so to get my degree.”

But after successful and meaningful therapy internships, he began to feel the various pulls to stay. “Promotions and added responsibility made it easy for me to go with the flow, and stay put. And then I met the love of my life. We got married and had two kids.”

Life’s gravity began making it harder for Jones to make changes. He also began recognizing a fear of failure and a lack of security that made it hard to reach escape velocity.

Finding Escape Velocity and Making Changes Happen

Jones wanted to leave his comfort zone and begin a private coaching business, but it seemed daunting. “The economy was in bad shape and the security of my current position made taking a chance hard to imagine.”

Here are three conclusions he made about reaching “escape velocity.”

The energy needed to break free from the gravity of your situation is immense. Be wise with how you direct that energy. For Jones, he found guidance by making lists, scheduling quiet time with a higher power, and making time with his wife and counselors. Consider asking yourself where you are putting energy toward something that does or does not help your goals.

Remember that it is a process. Change can be slow. Ask yourself questions like, “what about my current situation is serving the change I want to see? Who can support me?”

Trust in the process. The struggle you are experiencing can be the very thing that will make you valuable.

These three tips can help anyone who wants to make a change but does not know where to begin.

Find the Right Therapist For You

Therapists like Simeon Jones at North American Mental Health Services offer tangible ways to embrace life changes so you can continue living a balanced life.

If you or a loved one need help to manage life’s challenges, and you are interested in working with a therapist in Redding, Eureka, Fairfield, Monterey, Salinas, Red Bluff and Hollister or online therapist contact us.

Making a goal for a healthy lifestyle and making a plan to actualize your goals are two different matters. According to Forbes Health and OnePoll, 62% of people reported that improved physical and mental health was a top goal.

People often reach their goals when the goals are realistic and measurable. But what does tracking a goal entail? We hope this article offers helpful insight so that you can actualize a lifestyle you love.

Foster Healthy Habits: Create a System for Tracking Goals

According to the same survey, 52% of people setting goals use a resource to measure and track their health-related goals. Breaking a lofty goal into small, actionable steps is a great way to align the lifestyle you want with the lifestyle you have.

Many people express a goal to “exercise more.” Before creating a system to track that, make that goal more specific. What kind of exercise motivates you to move? During the day, what time are you most likely to exercise? Once refined, this same goal can be, “I want to run twice a week after work with my coworker, Ryan.”

The specific exercise is now measurable. Now you can create a simple spreadsheet, a post-workout note in Google Calendar, or even a handwritten note in a planner that tracks if you ran that week. It is also a specific goal, with the boost of an “accountability buddy” like Ryan who can help you stay on track with a shared goal.

There are apps available to help you reach any health-related goals. Sharing your goals with a therapist may help set a realistic plan, gain a sense of what blocks you from certain behaviors, and build actionable steps based on what motivates you.

We encourage residents in Redding, Eureka, Fairfield, Monterey, Salinas, Red Bluff and Hollister to request an appointment to work with a NAMHS therapist in person or inquire about our online therapy care.

Self soothing refers to the ability to regulate your body and emotions with actionable steps. The following actions can bring a sense of calm back to the day. Young children can also incorporate these tips into their routines and experience the benefits.

Enjoy the tips for self soothing and share them with a friend who could use relief from anxiety or depression.

Self Soothing Tip #1 – Know Your Triggers

Knowing what behaviors and words trigger you is an important first step to self soothing. Ideally, you can avoid triggering behavior altogether, but sometimes, you may not have control over your surroundings or the people who trigger you.

For example, people with a history of body dysmorphia or eating disorders might feel triggered when people comment on perceived weight gain or loss. If you know that these types of comments could trigger you, you can brace yourself for the comment. There might be comfort in knowing, “that type of comment would trigger me.”

By naming the trigger and having compassion for yourself, you can self soothe and bring yourself a bit of comfort.

Self Soothing Tip #2 – Seek Out Interactive Activities

This tip requires another person or animal to bring you comfort. Given that pets help reduce people’s blood pressure, it makes sense that when feeling strong emotions, being around another living being can help.

If you have a pet, great. If not, there are other ways to experience interactive soothing: do you have a friend or a partner who you can ask for a hug or a back rub? Is there an affordable place to get a massage?

Self Soothing Tip #3 – Breathe Your Way to a Calm Place

Our article, Embracing Anxiety: 3 Tips from a Licensed Therapist offers more tips to work through anxiety. Many of those tips can help soothe. For breathing your way to a calmer place, try taking three deep breaths. Upon inhaling, count “one Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi,” and pause for one second while holding your breath before a slow exhale.

Or, try closing one nostril by placing your index finger on the right or left nostril. Then, breathe in through the open nostril for a count of three. At the peak of the inhale, switch your index finger to cover the other nostril upon exhaling. The simple coordination this breathing requires can help a rattled mind.

Find the Right Therapist For You

Looking for a therapist? NAMHS can help in finding a therapist. In addition to self soothing, speaking with a healthcare professional can also bring comfort and clarity into your life. At North American Mental Health Services, we believe that feeling better starts with finding someone to listen to your experiences.

NAMHS has in-person therapists in Redding, Eureka, Fairfield, Monterey, Salinas, Red Bluff and Hollister as well as online therapy care available via HomePsych.

While some of these ideas require advanced planning, they do help soothe a rattled nervous system.

People may joke about “staying sane” during the holidays, but the saying holds. Each winter, navigating holiday stress is difficult for many people. Depending on one’s life experiences, the holidays can elicit complicated emotions. It might be tempting to self-medicate during the holidays, but there are ways to ensure you receive effective, soothing support. Here are three stress tips from our therapists to help you manage the holidays.

Stress Tip #1 – Remember that movies can create unrealistic expectations

Movies and advertisements often present the “pure joy” of the holidays, causing many people to feel isolated in their stress, anxiety, and loneliness. Spending a Christmas in New York while falling in love sounds great. So does staying in a cabin with friends or family, surrounded by giant snowflakes and cheery snowmen.

While many people do experience joy during the holidays, it is more common that people share the realities of holiday stress, too. Some of these stressors might relate to the logistical stress of hosting one’s family, feeding large groups of people with various tastes and needs, and putting aside your own needs to help with the chaos. Conversely, the lack of any logistical stress if there are “no holiday plans” may induce feelings of sadness, loneliness, anxiety, or boredom.

Additional emotional stressors during the holidays may include feeling depressed when you “should” feel happy—the “should” referring to what the movies signal society to feel. Or perhaps you dread the yearly holiday meal when you share proximity with an estranged, or even abusive, relative.

These emotional stressors may feel isolating, but the reality is that most people navigate one–if not several–emotional stressors during the winter holidays. Remember, life is not like how the movies portray it, especially during the holidays.

Stress Tip #2 – Identify your big triggers and develop a “game plan”

Self-inquiry is a valuable process that can help people regulate themselves during potentially stressful situations. By knowing your triggers, you will be more likely to take a step back from the direct comment or action that triggered you, and take care of yourself rather than spiral or burst into anger.

For many people, for example, navigating the holidays as someone with a previous or ongoing eating disorder is difficult. If someone comments during dinner about any perceived weight gain or weight loss of someone else at the table, what do you do?

By identifying this potential trigger in advance, you can create a game plan for when it happens. So when Aunt Sally says, “Wow [name] are you going to eat all that turkey?” right as you are about to enjoy dinner, you can remind yourself, “Aunt Sally is not aware of the harm of her statements.” If you have a partner or close relative at this event, and you feel comfortable telling them about a triggering relative or conversation that might come up, try creating a game plan, or create a code word or gesture for when you feel like you need physical comfort or reassurance.

It may seem silly, but having a go-to internal script or plan during an unavoidable stressor, such as talking with “Aunt Sally” at Thanksgiving, can go a long way. Conversely, you can try to avoid sitting near a triggering relative during the entire evening, but that may be less in your control. Lastly, reflect on if you are are able to communicate with your relatives about your triggers and concerns before the event. This last option requires your relatives to have the communicative tools or self-inquiry to hear you, reflect on their actions, and change their behaviors.

Stress Tip #3 – You Have Permission to “Opt Out” of Major Stressors

Sometimes, you need to remember: you do not have to go to stressful, triggering events if you do not want to. If you have tried to set limits and boundaries with certain family members or friends, and they continue to not hear your needs, maybe you need a break this holiday.

This is a major decision that can initially feel isolating. But it may be the best option if a “required” event during the holidays could harm your mental health.

If each year, for example, an after-hours Office Holiday Party always results in giving you an anxiety attack, maybe this is the year you do not go. Make up an excuse. Come down with a “cold” the day before. These options do exist. Your mental health matters.

A therapist can help you explore all your options and create a plan that makes you feel seen, respected, and emotionally stronger.

Have a Question? Schedule a Visit with an NAMHS Therapist

There are big questions and potential solutions to complicated holiday dynamics and stressors. If you have a question or would like more information, contact NAMHS or request an appointment. NAMHS has in-person therapists available in Redding, Eureka, Fairfield, Woodland and Monterey. We also have online therapy appointments.

Our therapists are here to support you and provide short-term and long-term relief.

Embracing Anxiety: 3 Tips from a Licensed Therapist

Have you recently worked with a therapist? Each year, therapists help people with high anxiety find calm, stability, and relief. Anxiety affects millions of people, especially since 2020 when mass amounts of our population accumulated added stress from COVID-19 and increased uncertainty in their future.

Luckily, therapists at North American Health Services can offer tangible ways to embrace anxiety and work with it so you can continue living a balanced life.

Tips for Recognizing and Embracing Anxiety, from NAMHS LMFT Simeon Jones

Living with anxiety requires recognition of certain thought patterns, as well as lots of compassion for yourself. Think back to the early days, when surviving the initial COVID-19 lockdown seemed impossible, but you adapted. Living with high anxiety also requires adaptation.

Simeon Jones is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who specializes in working with adults experiencing anxiety, depression, and relationship difficulties. Here are his three tips for reducing high anxiety.

1. Remember that “Your Feelings are Valid” 
Some situations call for anxiety, such as concern for a sick loved one or uncertainty over one’s job or housing. However, constant levels of anxiety can be annoying to experience, at best, and devastating at worst.

Many people with anxiety often recognize when they feel anxious. This recognition is a worthy tip in itself. When you can label your state as “anxious,” the amygdala calms down in a process called affective labeling.

If your anxiety is producing emotional variations of fear (ranging from cautious to panicked), remember that your emotional experience is real. Your feelings are valid; however, the thoughts influencing these feelings may not be.

As Simeon Jones, LMFT described in Healing Modern Anxieties in a Shifting World, persistent feelings of fear and worry are not always helpful. That’s why additional self-inquiry, relational healing, and professional support can help you move through your emotions without getting “stuck.”

2. Recognize and Label Thought Distortions 
When feeling anxious, many people experience common thought distortions such as rumination and catastrophizing. These thought patterns might influence how you feel and perhaps, make you even more anxious. That feeling of anxiety is real, even if the thoughts influencing it may not necessarily reflect the truth.

For example, imagine that you messed up a presentation at work. You stumbled over your introductory slides, mispronounced a few words, and forgot to leave time for questions at the end. None of these mistakes are life-threatening, but all you can think is, “I ruined that presentation. My boss was not impressed. I might get fired. I’m going to get fired. If I get fired, I won’t be able to pay rent and support my family.”

This is a classic example of catastrophizing when after an initial stressful event, you’re experiencing a seemingly endless loop of “worst case scenarios.” When you find yourself caught in the whirlpool of catastrophizing, find ways to pause this line of thought and give your mind and body a break. The first step is to recognize and label the thought distortions, if and when they occur.

3. Connect with People 
This last tip requires a bit of vulnerability because it involves being honest with people about your experience with anxiety. Connecting with someone about mental health can mean different actions, depending on your needs.

One way to connect with people might mean calling a good friend who you always feel supported by, and letting them know you had a rough day with anxiety. Or maybe during a “high anxiety” moment, you can call them or even send them a quick text, expressing that you’re having a high anxiety day. Some friends—even good friends who mean well—may need you to tell them what you need to feel supported. Maybe all you want is a simple text back that is as simple as a heart emoji, to feel seen and loved. Maybe you just want someone to laugh with you about an awkward exchange, so you can find humor amidst the anxiety.

Another way to connect with people is to find a therapist who makes you feel seen and also has the professional tools to help you grow. This also requires vulnerability and trust, as you share your story with “a stranger.” But this stranger has one job: to support you. Plus, unlike a friend, they carry less bias and understand the complexity of mental health. You also don’t need to worry about “burdening” a therapist the way you might worry about “burdening” a friend. That said, a world where people talk more openly with friends and colleagues about mental health is a beautiful thing.

If you or someone you care about struggles with high anxiety, various types of therapy can also provide relief.

Find the Right Therapist For You
Anxiety is common: we live in a world with constant change, uncertainty, and challenges. At North American Mental Health Services, we believe that feeling better starts with finding someone to listen to your experiences.

NAMHS has in-person therapy in Redding, Eureka, Fairfield, Monterey, Salinas, Red Bluff and Hollister as well as online therapy care available via HomePsych.

“Emotional resilience refers to one’s ability to adapt to stressful situations or crises. More resilient people are able to “roll with the punches” and adapt to adversity without lasting difficulties; less resilient people have a harder time with stress and life changes, both major and minor.” – VeryWellMind.com

It’s been a stressful few months. As we approach the summer, many people are wondering what the future is going to hold. The coronavirus has not only impacted the health of many around the world, it has also produced economic hardship and uncertainty. How do we manage the “curve balls” that life throws at us from time to time? I personally wonder, is there anything that I can do for myself, and my community, to weather life’s storms?

I believe there are things we can do. In these next few blogs, I am going to outline five key principles of emotional resilience to help maintain one’s shape when stretched and pulled by challenges and hardships.

The Pursuit Of Happiness

A few years ago, I was curious about the concept of happiness. What is happiness? Our founding fathers considered it to be quite important, so much so they included it as criteria in our country’s founding document. The Declaration of Independence states that “we are endowed by our Creator with certain unalienable rights that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.” This led me to wonder, how does one pursue happiness, and when will I know when I’ve found it?

So, I did some research, and I discovered that a doctor at the Mayo Clinic was asking some of the same questions. His name is Dr. Amit Sood. He noticed that the research showed that people who report a general sense of “being ok” in their lives were healthier, more productive, and more resilient. He conducted more than 25 studies on this subject and came to some conclusions. You can read about it for yourself in his book A Guide To Happiness.

One of the common factors that he found was that these “happy people” live with intention, not only in their actions, but in their thinking. Dr. Sood outlined four areas that happy people have in common. The first is the ability to focus your attention. You see, about 30-40 percent of our thinking is not focused thought, but rather, wandering thought. This is totally normal. However, these moments of wandering thought result in us telling stories about ourselves, the world, and how we relate to the world. When we feel good, and life is full of hope, the stories we tell ourselves can be wonderful, full of dreams and positive vibes. However, when we are feeling particularly vulnerable, sad or anxious, these stories can be decidedly negative, and thus we feel really bad. Finding ways to be more mindful in our thinking as well as engaging in activities that keep us more in the present moment can be helpful. Activities like puzzles, working in the garden, fixing your car, and countless others can be ways of focusing your attention on the Here and Now. When left alone with our thoughts, even we can spiral down if we’re not careful.

The 5 Principles Are:

1. Gratitude
2. Acceptance
3. Compassion
4. Meaning
5. Forgiveness

Over the course of the next five posts, I will break down these principles. Practicing these can make a significant difference in your life. Think of this as daily “MENTAL HYGIENE.”

A Therapist’s Guide To Surviving The COVID-19 Lockdown

They say it rains 226 days a year in Seattle. Gray clouds from the North Pacific drift over the Emerald City and drop precipitation on the coffee-drinking public. It is a beautiful city, full of green parks and green politics. You can tell the locals from the others—by the use of umbrellas. Out-of-towners clutch winged sticks held aloft to divert the deluge. Seattleites leave them at home, accepting the fact that a little water from above makes their hair look cooler.

In 1995 I waved goodbye to the sun, and began the trek north from California to this “city on the Sound.” Dad and I loaded up the car with my few possessions. Mom baked some cookies for the trip and packed a cooler full of Diet Pepsi and apple wedges. “Now, don’t forget to eat lots of green vegetables and fruits. You don’t want to get scurvy,” she said. I looked down at the bag slung around my shoulder to see her placing a book in one of the side pouches. I slid it back out just enough to see the title: A Mom’s Guide to Surviving College. It had recipes for macaroni and cheese that gave blow-by-blow instructions on how to make the perfect peanut butter and jelly sandwich. As we pulled out of the driveway she stood tearfully watching her youngest son go off to college. We waved, and as the car turned onto the road I felt like I was pulling away from childhood and toward my future. My compass pointed north, and like Jack London, I mushed.

Stepping out into the unknown can be an exciting thing. However, new challenges can sometimes make me feel afraid. As I sit here today, it has become evident that we are faced with a different kind of life transition. Worry and fear have crept into the national consciousness. COVID-19 Information In Redding has infected the hearts of many around the world. While doctors and scientists and politicians work on ways to defeat the microscopic threat, each of us look inward to combat feelings that lie deep inside. Feelings of a lack of control, feeling stuck, and feeling lonely. What will the future hold? Will it look the same as I had grown accustomed to? Will I or someone I love get sick and die? These are all questions that can have a significant impact on our mental health.

Managing these feelings, and coping with the stress that they produce will become increasingly important as the next few weeks and months draw out. We are pulling out of the driveway of what is known and comfortable and heading toward a new reality that is unpredictable. So, as I start down the road stocked with beans and rice and boxes of Hamburger Helper, I would like to share with you a “Therapist’s guide to surviving the Lockdown.”

The River and the Reservoir

The first thing to remember is that your feelings are valid. It is perfectly reasonable to feel uneasy in this time. Acceptance of your emotional reality will help you move through this experience with your mental health intact. Denial of these feelings will only add pressure and weight to the reality that you face. Imagine your feelings are like a river. It flows through you. It touches you. It impacts you. But then, it sails on down the river. On the contrary, a reservoir holds onto the water. The water dams and pools up, creating more volume for you to hold.

Tip: When you feel an emotion like sadness, acknowledge the feeling. Realize that this feeling will not last forever. It will pass, and another feeling or thought will replace it. We think all the time. It is just what minds do. One thought comes. It stays for a while, and then it goes. Another thought comes behind it, and so on. Allowing yourself to experience the emotion authentically will allow you to process it, and move on.

Don’t be surprised if you have some surprising emotions. Each of us will process this crisis differently. One writer described this as grief processing. We are grieving the loss of loved ones yes, but we may also be grieving the loss of a job, the loss of routine, or a loss of security.

Routine of Distraction

It is important to find ways to keep a regular routine. Finding a sense of normalcy is a critical part of maintaining calm and maximizing your effectiveness. If you normally wake up in the morning at 7, continue to do so. Get up. Take a shower. Get dressed, as if you had something to do that day. Develop goals and projects for each day. Benchmarks to measure what you have accomplished. This will help you limit the sense of one day flowing into the next with no real structure.

Mix in scheduled entertainment and ways to distract yourself from your situation. Mindful practices like cooking, gardening, and exercise are helpful. Ask yourself, what activities make me feel normal?

Tip: Write it down! Making lists can assist you in organizing these activities, but it can also give you something to look back on at the end of the day as evidence of what you did. Warning: Don’t judge yourself if everything doesn’t get done. There is grace in the midst of this. In other words, be kind.

Have Courage

“Courage is being very afraid, and saddlin’ up anyway.”
– John Wayne

When I was a kid, I loved imagining I was Indiana Jones on an adventure to defeat the Nazi’s in a race to a mythical artifact. I dreamt of commanding the USS Enterprise against the Romulans like Captain Kirk. I visualized myself as Han Solo piloting the Millennium Falcon toward the Death Star to save Luke Skywalker. I, of course, was only a child. The world I lived in was scary, and I was often afraid. In those times, I would ask myself, ‘What would Han Solo do?” In a sense, even though they were fictional characters, I was borrowing their courage for a little bit in order to get through. Eventually, I realized that their courage was actually mine all along.

The bible talks about how persevering through hardship produces character (strength), and that strength produces hope. The competing ideas about our future are fear and hope. Which one I choose to focus on will have a big impact on how I feel and act.

We will get through this. There will be another side. If you have family that are staying with you, enjoy them. Use this time to grow closer together. Resist the urge to go to your own corners and isolate. Engage, talk, do a puzzle, or watch Jeopardy together. If you are living by yourself during this time, reach out to others on social media, pick up the phone and call a friend, or find opportunities in the community for connection. You are not alone. Isolation is depression’s best friend.

Reflecting on the Power to Change and the Things I Learned while Watching the Science Channel

Gravity is a natural phenomenon by which physical bodies attract with a force proportional to their masses.

I’ve been watching a lot of shows on the Science Network recently. There is something both comforting and intriguing about learning what keeps this universe of ours together—and what tears it apart. The vastness and complexity of the natural world never ceases to amaze. In fact, the scale of the universe is almost unfathomable.

In order to wrap our human heads around the universe, scientists have focused their curiosity on the forces that govern matter and energy. Laws govern this world, and theories try to explain what the laws don’t.

Gravity is interesting to me. Now I don’t know all the intricacies of physics, but it seems to me that objects with more mass attract objects with less mass. The sun attracts the Earth and all the rest of the planets. The Earth attracts the moon and keeps all of us on its surface, too. It takes immense energy to escape its gravitational pull. This is called escape velocity.

Wikipedia explains this process: “In physics, escape velocity is the speed at which the kinetic energy plus the gravitational potential energy of an object is zero.[nb 1] It is the speed needed to “break free” from a gravitational field without further propulsion.”

Life change has similar dynamics. The “mass” that is created in our lives can create a type of gravitational pull that keeps us where we are.

When I moved from the San Francisco bay area to Southern California to attend graduate school, I never thought that I would stay. I assumed that I would be there 2 years or so to get my degree, and then move back up north. However, during my therapy internships, I began gaining influence in my job at the hospital. Promotions and added responsibility made it easy for me to ‘go with the flow,’ and stay put.

This was not a bad thing. In fact, I am grateful for the opportunities that were presented to me. I met the love of my life, and we got married. We had a little girl who has been a blessing and recently had a baby boy. Life’s gravity began making it harder to change. Fear of failure, lack of security, and complacency made it harder to reach the escape velocity needed to see the change that I would like to see.

The desire to step out of my comfort zone seemed daunting. I ultimately came to some conclusions about life change and reaching my “escape velocity.”

1.) The energy needed to break free from the gravity of your situation can be immense. Therefore, you need to be wise in how you direct that energy. You only have so much energy to expend. The more dissipated or distilled it is will determine the impact of your efforts. Keeping focused and redirecting your thoughts back to where you want to go is key.

For me, making lists, scheduling quiet time, scheduling community time with my wife and counselors are important toward achieving this. Ask yourself, “Is there unnecessary energy expenditure in my life?” “What specifically can I eliminate from my life that is not serving my goals?”

2.) When discouragement comes (and it will), remember that it is a process. Many of the relationships and situations that I have the opportunity to be a part of now are invaluable toward what I will be doing. Remember that if the goal hasn’t yet been realized, it does not mean that change is not already occurring. Ask yourself a couple of questions: “What about my current situation is serving the change I want to see in my life?” “Who in my life can be an ally?”

3.) Trust in the process. The struggle you are experiencing can be the very thing that will make you stronger. Wisdom is forged in the crucible. Ask yourself, “What am I learning?”

Take courage. Reaching your escape velocity requires perseverance, patience, and faith! C.S. Lewis said, “Courage is not merely one of the virtues, but the form of every virtue at its testing point.”

Healing Modern Anxieties in a Shifting World

There is a lot of anxiety in the world right now. We are in the middle of an election year, and things like threats of pandemic and global warming bring about feelings of fear in many people. No matter where you fall on these issues, many people are worried.

Social media, politics, and the fast-paced nature of modern life have divided us. We love our fences. We live in our “house bubbles,” and we drive in our “car bubbles,” and a large portion of our day we sit in our “office bubbles.” I even see some of my patients via Telehealth from my office—I can “virtually” go anywhere in the world from my office. Because of our modern conveniences, there is less and less of a need to venture out into the world. But what are the ramifications of this trend toward isolation? For one, people can feel unmoored and disconnected. Another effect is further isolation: we easily retreat into echo chambers where we only hear thoughts and opinions that are just like our own.

I recently heard about an amazing way that doctors are treating severe stutterers. It’s called “delayed auditory feedback.” The way it works is that the doctor places a device resembling a hearing aid into the ears of the stutterer. When the person speaks, the device picks up the sound of their voice and plays it back in their ear simultaneously and at a slightly different frequency and tone. According to the researchers, this creates what they call “the choral effect.” The brain is tricked into thinking that the person is speaking along with someone else. Research has shown that when people who stutter sing or speak in unison with others, their speech is more fluid and in some cases the stammering goes away completely.

The stigma of a speech impediment can be crippling for those that suffer from it and alters the way they go about their normal lives. Many are isolated and choose careers that don’t require them to interact with others. It is exhausting and frustrating to get stuck on a syllable and not be able to get past it.

In an article in USA Today they reported that Cris Muirhead of Searcy, Ark. (who suffers from severe stuttering) would try and tell the waiter at a restaurant his order, but after several minutes of trying to get his order from his mind to his lips, he would often give up and end up eating something he did not want to eat. He now wears a hearing aide, and his stuttering has virtually disappeared.

It is not fun to feel stuck. We get trapped in our own minds and are unable to break through. Human beings can talk themselves into anything. Without other voices in our lives, it becomes easy to stutter through life. I think that is why it is so important to stay connected with others. Hearing voices that are tuned to a slightly different frequency gives perspective and at times can make your own voice more fluid.

It’s not necessary to be swept up in fear and worry. The “choral effect” can help us feel anchored even in a world that’s unpredictable and shifting. We need each other. I need your voice in my life, and you need mine. The “choral effect” that will be created by our interaction may help us feel less alone with our stuttering lives.

In order to heal, we have to find ways to reconnect with people. One of the benefits of therapy is that it is a relationship that is nonjudgmental. It’s a caring environment and a space where people can come into healing, find peace with themselves, hear another’s voice, and have their voice be heard.

We all go through challenging things from time to time, and the struggle with one’s mental health is not a reflection of one’s strength or weakness. That false belief can lead to negative and fearful thoughts that make us feel really bad. Past traumas do not have to be inexorably linked with our identities.

Many people walk around in the world not knowing what they need – they just know that they hurt. The world can sometimes seem like a scary place. Wars, school shootings, and similar events lead our evening newscasts and top the front pages of our papers. Sometimes, this can lead to strong feelings of anxiety and depression. Trauma can change the stories we tell ourselves about ourselves and about the world. These stories can have a huge impact on how we feel and how we walk around every day.

Recognizing The Symptoms Of Trauma

People might not realize they have been affected by trauma. Some symptoms may include sleeplessness, hypervigilance, anxiety, and depression. Years ago, I worked in a hospital in Los Angeles. At times we would have traumatic things happen. We referred to these as “sentinal events.” These would consist of a patient death, a violent patient, or another emotionally taxing experience. Some medical professionals would try to ignore it or brush it off as “just part of the job.” The thought process was something like, “If I’m going to be a good nurse, I can’t be viewed as weak or soft.” So, they would employ various avoidance strategies to cope. Later they may begin to experience unwanted symptoms. At times, it may not even appear that their feelings are associated with that event. It’s as if a fear switch turns on, but it doesn’t turn off like normal.

Getting Treatment For Trauma

On a hopeful note, there are effective therapy treatments that can help people gain the tools they need to not be dominated by fear. We can find acceptance in that though we suffer, we can still overcome. We can live lives of hope and not fear. The stigma of mental health is lessening, and more and more people are reaching out for help. The more awareness that people have about mental health services, the more willing they will be to seek help from a licensed therapist or other mental health professional. If you are struggling with these unwanted feelings, just remember that you are not alone. Help is available to you if you make the choice to engage with it.